Sirach 27:30-28:7; Psalm 103:1-4, 9-12; Romans 14:7-9; Matthew 18:21-35
Christianity is the most radical of all religions because of
its teaching on forgiveness. No other religion has so much emphasis on
forgiveness as in Christianity. Retaliation and revenge are clearly enshrined
in the spirituality of some religions and many cultures, and deep in the way of
life of many men and women. The first reading says, “Anger and wrath are
hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.” The reading explains how
forgiveness is important to our prayer life and our relationship with God: “Forgive
your neighbor’s injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.
Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the Lord?
Could anyone refuse mercy to another like himself; can he seek pardon for his
own sins?” Jesus emphasizes this teaching on forgiveness in Mark 11:25-26, “And
when you stand to pray, if you have anything against anyone, forgive, so that
your heavenly Father may also forgive your sins.” We pray in the Lord’s Prayer
“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us” (Matthew 6:12).
The first reading admonishes us, “Remember the last days, set enmity aside;
remember death and decay, and cease from sin!”
One of the lessons we can draw from today’s gospel parable
is that we sin against God every day but he does not treat us according to our
sins. Today’s Psalm says, “Who pardons all your iniquities, and heals all your
ills. He redeems your life from destruction and crowns you with kindness and
compassion. He will not always chide nor does he keep his wrath forever, not
according to our sins does he deal with us, nor does he requite us according to
our crimes. For as the heavens tower over the earth, so surpassing is his
kindness towards those who fear him. As far as the east is from the
west, so far has he has put our transgressions from us.”
Yet, many times we are very unforgiving to one another, even
over minor offenses. At the end of the Lord’s Prayer Jesus cautions us, “If you
forgive others their wrongdoings, your Father in heaven will also forgive
yours. If you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive you
either” (Matthew 6:14-15). St. James further warns us, “For the judgment is
merciless to one who has not shown mercy” (James 2:12). This is repeating the
message of the first reading.
However, we must not confuse justice with forgiveness.
Justice aims to correct a wrong through lawful or restorative means. Justice
aims to protect others and seek lawful accountability without being driven by
hatred or a desire for revenge. Evil breeds and flourishes where there is no
justice. To expect forgiveness in the middle of an on-going assault or
aggression does not make sense. For forgiveness to be truly meaningful and for
healing to occur, the aggression must first stop, regardless of whether there
is an apology or justice. That is why we have the Defense Department and Law
Maintenance and Law Enforcement Departments. That is why the Catholic Church
Just War Doctrine defines the conditions under which force can be used to halt
aggression and protect a victim or victims. We continue to pray for
the repentance of those who inflict pain on others.
When an assault or an aggression is over (regardless of
whether there is an apology or justice), forgiveness follows, and healing is
possible. Forgiveness is a personal choice to let go of bitterness, hatred, and
the desire for personal revenge so that the victim can find inner peace. Deacon
Ignatius Joseph says, “If you do not confess your sins, you keep your sins.” In
the same sense, if you do not forgive the sins against you, you keep them with
you. That is to say, you keep the hurt, the pain, and the grief. Depending on
the depth of the hurt, healing after forgiveness can be a gradual process. It
requires prayer and patience.
Sometimes, we ask, “I have forgiven my someone, yet I still
remember the offense. Does it mean that I have not forgiven the person?” We
must not underestimate the immense power of memory. Some experiences can remain
in our memory for a very long, and sometimes forever. However, prayer, time,
and goodwill can heal and erase the hurt, even if we still do remember the
experience. When this happens, the offense may be remembered, but faintly.
We know that forgiveness and healing have taken place:
(1) When the offense is no longer vivid in our mind. We have
forgotten the details.
(2) When we no longer make reference to the offense to
support any kind of claim or reason for our actions.
(3) When we are no longer upset when we remember the offense
or the offender.
(4) When we, in no way, wish to retaliate or wish misfortune
to the offender.
(5) When we treat the offender with acceptance,
understanding, and kindness.
(6) When we remember the offense, we are grateful for the
lesson or lessons we learned from the experience.
(7) When we remember the offense, we acknowledge that we
have, also, offended other people many times and in many ways. We, also, are in
need of forgiveness.
Let us conclude with the words of St. Paul (Ephesians 4:32),
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you.” May God grant us the grace to reconcile, the grace to
forgive, and the grace to be healed. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment